A Letter to the Child I'll Never Meet

Little one,

Today, June 6, 2017, is your due date. It's hard to comprehend that only a short 9 months ago, you were something so real. Today you aren't in my belly, you aren't in my arms; you're in my heart.

I worried that after I lost you, I would forget you, but I didn't. I could never forget you. The days after I lost you were some of the most emotionally crippling and lonely days I've ever experienced. It's hard to pinpoint one emotion, because there were countless emotions. Disbelief, sadness, heartache, anger and grief are a few that come to mind. As the weeks passed, I learned how to control my emotions but sometimes they still show up when I least expect it.

Although we only had a short 10 weeks together, you have impacted my life more than you'll ever know. You taught me that I have the strength to overcome the most difficult of days, even when I feel like I can't possibly take anymore. You showed me that God has a way of healing a broken heart in the most unexpected ways. You helped me understand that sometimes things don't work out as planned and that's okay. You will continue to remind me that I must embrace life's unexpected detours and focus on the good that each day offers, because there is certainly something good to be found in each new day.

You, my little one, have changed me in a way that no one else ever has or ever will.

Until we meet again,
Your Mommy